As my quads were still not on speaking terms with me last night from my 40-miler training ride, I watched the first Harry Potter film. Dumbledore’s warning about the third-floor corridor reminded me to warn you all about the mistake I made on the ride I did that day. At the end of Dumbledore’s beginning of the year speech, he said,
And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.”
I will therefore pass on this warning to you:
I must tell you that Laurelwood road from Laurelwood to Bald Peak road is out of bounds to every cyclist who does not wish to die a most painful death.
It’s a bit exaggerated, but just like with Harry, Hermione, and Ron in the movie were able to make it, you too can survive that hill, but once you stop riding up the hill, you will have to walk your bike the rest of the way. I’ve ridden on some steep hills, but I’ve never been on anything like Laurelwood road. You see, according to the Washington County Sheriff’s department, There are a lot of sharp turns on SW Laurelwood and a 17% grade. Yes, you heard it: a 17% grade. And I thought Bald Peak road’s 8% grade was bad enough.
You’re probably thinking the lactic acid got to my brain, and you might be partially right, but in the back of my head, I knew better, but took it anyway. I should probably explain why I would commit myself to such folly.
I think I remember being warned about that hill, by Triguy, but I thought he was exaggerating. The problem stems from the false sense of security that Portland Velo’s map of the westside (rev. 2) gave me. I don’t put any blame on Portland Velo, but I do recommend a change for rev. 3.
If you look at the map’s legend, you’ll see the ‘>>>’ marking denotes a steep climb. Some of the roads that get that marking are Unger Rd, Laurel Rd (not to be confused with Laurelwood), and Mason Hill Road. I don’t know about Unger, but I have ridden down Laurel, and I’ve already climbed Mason Hill road three times. While Mason Hill is totally doable Laurel Rd. is definitely more intimidating. Although I haven’t yet had the nerve to try climbing it, I at least know what I would be in for, and I would climb it if I had to.
So, when I noted that there was no steep marking on Laurelwood Rd, I assumed that even though it probably would be tough, it couldn’t be that bad. My assumption was that if Laurelwood was as bad as Triguy suggested, then Portland Velo would surely mark that road as steep.
Apparently, my assumption was false, and the reality is that the wonderful folks at Portland Velo already know the insanity of attempting that hill, so they figured that marking it as steep would only encourage crazy riders like me to attempt the “wall.”
Anyway, I set out to ride on a new route, so I decided to explore some of the roads I would be riding on the HealthNet MS Bike Ride, especially to ride on Spring Hill Rd. I began — like most of my Washington county rides — by heading out to Rood Bridge Park (to and from Rood Bridge Park makes the perfect warm up and cool down).
The Route (the one I recommend; not the one I did)
- Rood Bridge Road south
- Rt. Burkhalter
- Cross 219 to take Simpson
- Simpson becomes Johnson School Rd
- Left Tongue
- Right Golf Course
- Left Blooming Fern Hill
- Note: there are 2 hills to climb, neither are terrible, but they are hills in my book
- Also note: the downhill is quite steep, and it ends with a stop sign
- I had to use both brakes (and they are disk brakes)
- This is probably around 10% grade at least, so I don’t recommend that the faint of heart come up from the west sideÂ
Left Fern Hill Rd
Left Spring Hill Rd
- Note: you aren’t that far from Hagg Lake. If you’re up to it, try the following (it should add about 15-20 miles to your ride):
- Take a right on Spring Hill
- Right on 47 (be very careful here)
- Left on Old Hwy 47
- Right on Scoggins Valley Rd
Left on Laurel Wood
- Note: Don’t kill yourself by climbing the hill, turn around before you leave Laurelwood or make a mammoth ride by riding to Newberg and then to Sherwood
Turn around in Laurel Wood and retrace your steps (at this point, you’re about 25 miles committed to the ride; there’s nothing wrong with making it a half century and congratulating yourself that you didn’t try killing your quads) if so, I suggest that you do the following:
- Turn around in Laurelwood (by the school) and head back to Spring Hill
- Right on Spring Hill Rd
- Right on Fern Hill Rd
- Right on Geiger (this is untested by me, but you’re getting farther away from the nasty hills, so it should be okay)
- Right on Lafollet
- Left on Blooming Hill
I took Rood Bridge to Burkhalter, rode past Oak Knoll Winery, and headed to 219. Let me also warn you not to stay on 219 any longer than you have to. I turned right on 219 and took it to Tongue Ln., but I should have either turned onto Grabel road (just before 219) and taken that to just a few hundred feet south of Tongue, or I could have taken Simpson to Johnson School road (the route that the MS ride usually takes).
219 was nasty. Even though there was a wide shoulder, the traffic was horrendous with many large trucks. There already was a headwind, but every truck coming towards me gave me more work to do.
I turned left on Tongue (I was only too happy to leave the highway). Tongue had only a little shoulder, but it was scenic, and the traffic was much lighter. I turned right onto Golf Course road, which was, low and behold, right at the parking lot of the golf course.
Take a left on Blooming Fern Hill. This was one of the highlights of the ride. There’s a great hill to climb, that is when there isn’t a car that won’t pass you like in my case. Just at the top of the hill, you can see another hill. It looks worse than it is because you get a quick downhill, which gives you enough momentum for half of the next hill.
After that comes the fun part: the downhill. I wasn’t even trying, but before I knew it, I was going 39 mph (and that’s on my mountainbike). Unfortunately, there’s a stop sign at the bottom of the hill. I still hadn’t tightened my rear disk brake, which had been a little loose to accomodate the rack I had for commuting, so as I was careening towards the stop sign, I had to lean back and begin applying the front brakes, just enough to stop, not enough to do an endo.
I turned left onto Fern Hill road, and then turned onto Spring Hill road, and marveled at the beauty. I couldn’t help but admire the scenery as I wound through the valley; however, I kept eyeing the hill to my left and the infamous Bald Peak.

I kept hoping for the best, which still looked bad, but I knew that I might not end up with a forgiving hill. Unfortunately, I kept getting closer to Bald Peak and steep hillsides with no Laurelwood road in sight.

When I finally got to Laurelwood road, I knew that the hill was probably going to be bad, but I held out hope. If the road would just head enough to the south of Laurelwood, the town, then I just might survive. I had some little ups and downs and wound through Laurelwood, the town.
As soon as I got out of the town, I rounded a corner and whabam! There were two nasty and very steep corners. I had no time to think; I had to get into my smallest chainring and fast! Just like the horror movies where the victims are trying to get into their cars and fumble with the keys, my front derrailleur fumbled. Chink-chink-chink-chink. Rattle rattle rattle. It wouldn’t go!
I got around the first corner, and out bounded a doe onto the middle of the roadway — probably to find out what the racket was all about. She stared at me for a moment, wondering what I was thinking trying this hill, and then bounded up off the side of the road. I had no ability to appreciate the fine moment where I met nature face to face in an intimate moment. I didn’t care! I still wasn’t in the granny gear. As I neared the next corner, there appeared a little faun, who also stared at me before leaving the road. Again, I didn’t care.
My lungs were exploding. I was at the lowest cog of my freewheel (the mega-range cog), and as I rounded the next corner and saw that, rather than let up, the road kept going at the same steep grade, and as I was still not in granny gear, but was pulling wheelies as I tried to keep going up the hill, I knew I was either going to fall over on the road, still clipped into my SPD cleats, or I could make a break for a dirt driveway on the left of the road. There were no cars in sight or in hearing, so I made for the driveway.
I let my lungs calm down a bit, and then I tried to ride once more. I made it to the next driveway before I saw that the road was going to continue like this indefinitely. Once I got to the second drive, I tried once more to ride, but I didn’t have enough room to get clipped in and riding. If you’ve tried crazy hills like that, then I don’t need to tell you that once you stop, you probably won’t be riding again until the road lets up, and that’s what happened to me.
As I walked up the rest of the hill, I decided that I wasn’t being a wimp; I was just cross-training (hiking and riding). After all, El Cap will tell you that you aren’t really mountain biking unless you have to walk your bike part of the way. I know; I know; I was road riding, technically speaking, but I think when the road is a 15+% grade, you’re out of the traditional road riding realm and into new territory.
I ended up walking that bike about 3/4 of a mile (I know because I started walking just a little after the sign that read 15 mph for the next 3/4 miles). When I finally got past the worst part, I was able to get back on the bike (it was just a little before meeting up with Bald Peak Road. As I approached the intersection, I looked at Bald Peak road to my right, and shook my head ‘no.’ I wouldn’t be riding to the top of the hill that day. As I looked to the left, there was a woman in a car at the intersection who smiled as if to say, “good choice.”
I turned left at Laurel road (Laurel and Bald Peak become one and the same for a bit), and climbed just a little more (it was more of an incline than a hill). Now came the fun part: the ride down Laurel Road. Laurel road descends for about 1/2 a mile before Bald Peak road breaks off to the left and Laurel drops down the hillside.
Now typically, I ride up Bald Peak and at the lower intersection, I turn left and descend Laurel. On those rides, I don’t have to pedal to break 40 mph down the hill. Well, by the time I approached that intersection, I already had a 39-mph head start. I lost my nerves (probably from coming up Laurelwood), so I slowed my bike down. At some point, I figured I would get myself into more trouble slowing than just making sure I was stable and alert, so I let off the brakes and tried some of El Cap’s tips on descending, and just tucked and kept myself steady. When I did finally look at the computer at the bottom of the hill, I had made it to 44.9 mph as my top speed. I can only imagine what it would have been if I never breaked. Needless to say, it would have been pushing 50.
By now, my quads were jellied and complaining. I didn’t have the heart to tell them they still had 10 miles to go. I also had to continue on Laurel to 219 (Bald Peak Road was closed at the 219 intersection). This added an extra mile or two, which turned out for the best at the end because it got my ride to 40 miles as opposed to 38, which just isn’t the same.
The rest of the ride was uneventful except the company I got from a fellow cyclist who caught up to me on Rood Bridge road. We chatted about this and that. He was the first to inform me that Laurelwood’s grade was so steep. I hadn’t even thought about how bad it was (I was thinking 10-12% grade). I felt better about my “cross-training,” and I made a new friend.
It turns out that his wife has MS, so there’s one more reason why I’m glad I’m preparing for the HealthNet MS Bike Ride. Just don’t tell my quads that I’m planning on riding the century.